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(Life Wire) -- After his 10-year marriage ended in 2004, New Yorker Phil Lee, 42, found himself tagged with the modern-day scarlet letter: "D" -- divorced.

If you don't do that, you come across as being dishonest." But take it more slowly when it comes to telling the kids.

Before making introductions, tell your kids about the person you're dating, and why they'll like him or her.

"Listen to their opinion about your partner, but don't give them the power to influence your decision," she says.

Assure your new partner that she or he is a priority and provides what you want and need now.

In general, anger is an uncommon reaction, unless you haven't been forthright to begin with.

• More personal information, such as why the marriage failed and the nature of your relationship with your ex, should be saved for a later date when the two of you are more comfortable with each other.

As Hartman puts it, "Your date wants to know about you, not your former marriage." • Don't go into too much detail.

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