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It is a mistake to think that you will change his mind if he falls in love with you, if you date long enough to really get to know each other, and/or if you try harder, if you lose five pounds, or if you get a beauty makeover. What has changed since the time the two of you were dating?
His words may seem encouraging, but they are not really saying much about him.
Once you have decided that you part ways, there should be no ambiguity in the relationship. Better start a new search for somebody who shares your goal and is able to committ. Although I was divorced, I knew that I wanted to remarry and have more kids (I had 1 with my former wife).
The first time we met, it seemed that we enjoyed each other's company, but the goals were different.
Unless he's made a dramatic turnaround and is definitely focused on seeing your courtship lead to marriage, we wouldn't recommend becoming involved with him again.
We suggest saying something like, "I want you to know that the reason I am dating is because I would like to meet someone who is right is for me, and develop a courtship that will lead to marriage.
I don't know if you are that person, but I have a purpose to my dating and I want to be up front about it." If you date runs from this revelation, or if he says, "I am having a good time with you and would like to keep this casual," then he doesn't have the same goals as you -- and you are better off not making an investment in something that has no future.
Then it will be logical to move on and not look back. BS"D I am sure it was very difficult to go through the separation, and I am sure it did hurt.
I might be mistaken, but it would probably have been wiser had you avoided keeping in touch with him, even via e-mail. I am engaged to a great woman that I met over a year.