Dating an aspie groovy xml updating
tell him that talking is important in relationships too. don't hint, put things plainly, be specific about what he can do (ie. Do all the normal things; make it quite clear what you're expecting out of a relationship.
not just a 'date' but asking you about how you are feeling, listening and then remembering three things you've said). If he can't give you what you need, and doesn't show any interest in compromise, give it up. Asperger's has a huge effect on your personality (e.g.
He never texts me good morning or asks me how I am doing.
We hang out a lot, but it's always at his house and I can tell he mainly wants to do physical stuff. How much is Aspergers and how much is selfishness is impossible to tell, especially for someone that doesn't know him personally.
To sum up, he's not being selfish; it's just how he is and if you want a relationship with someone on the autistic spectrum, you will need to take the initiative pretty much all the time.
Doesn't mean he won't love you (as best he can); he'll just function differently to non-autistic people.
Reading up on symptoms is difficult because most high-level descriptions give the "Triad of Impairments" (the three areas that broadly categorise what is believed to fit Aspergers).It's a bit like ' Why else have a relationship when there are so many other things to enjoy? An Aspie often isn't able to 'feel love' in the way a non-autistic person can, so a relationship with an Aspie is not going to be equally balanced on an emotional level.We can still love someone to the best of our ability (which might reach an "I like having you around and I trust you - let's stay together forever" level rather than the whole hearts-and-flowers, melting feeling of love) but that lack of stronger emotion can mean we won't think to do romantic things or declare sentimental feelings.A lot of aspies have a hard time balancing competing social obligations like having a girlfriend and their friends hanging out together.He may be clueless as to your discomfort, or he may just not know how to manage different social expectations at the same time.