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At the time, Harris was fresh out of his first serious relationship and frustrated at the loose morals of his generation.He wondered what a God-pleasing romantic relationship looked like beyond just “don’t have sex” and “date only Christians.” At age 21, Harris believed he had the answer: Don’t date until you’re ready for marriage, and when you’re ready, court with the intentionality for marriage.

Others have married yet now have negative feelings about the impact of.He involved the parents in their courtship for guidance. But that’s not the story of many other readers who followed the book’s ideas and now, years later, voice disappointment and regret.He and Katie didn’t kiss until their wedding day, and when it finally came time to kiss the bride, Ly froze. Some have called the book “legalism at its finest” and claim it “ruined lives.” Some say it engendered a culture of judgmentalism, pressured inexperienced people into marrying the first person they dated, and caused them to fear intimacy of any kind with the opposite sex.I thought if everyone was doing this same thing, no one would get their hearts broken.” Ross’ parents were divorced, and she didn’t want that to happen to her or anyone else. It took about 10 years, Ross said, before she was able to disentangle from those deeply ingrained thoughts. Breneman loved the ring—it was silver, bearing a cross and a heart—and she wore it with pride all the way through high school.The idea of dating also terrified her: What if she never got picked? As Breneman struggled with the normal but uncomfortable, flitter-flutter emotions of her teenage years, seemed to explain so clearly and persuasively everything she was feeling.

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