13 year old dating
From a former middle school teacher, I say wait until 16! Her parents had been dropping her off at the mall and movies with her boyfriend. She flaked on sitting for us New Year's Eve to be with her boyfriend. Your daughter needs to stay busy and not start paring off on dating things.
I have a former student, now in 8th grade that I found out is having sex with a 7th grade boy. It's doesn't help that other parents allow this which makes it hard to keep the standard age up where it should be-15-16-ish, imo.
She would never admit it, but I think she knows we're not COMPLETELY unreasonable on this one!! Prior to that - I had "boyfriends" and we talked on the phone and went over to each other's houses for homework - doors were ALWAYS open and nothing was done in private. Later there was some kissing and flirting and light making out, but that was towards the end of high school. I had always thought you were a responsible person. Dating while under the eye of parents is the best way to keep things safe.
:)T.: Make a compromise - if they want to go to a movie - JOIN THEM!! There's no "right age" to start dating, but there may be a right level of maturity. We did not really date, but he was invited to our house a lot. If you do not allow them to date or have close friends, once they get out of your home, you will not be there to guide them. They may test you,, but always prove to them you were very serious about the consequences. Like anything else important discipline wise, of course she isn't going to like it.
I say "for" not "to" because I love her and I will survive the inevitable death stares just like my parents did. It is your job to protect her and be her parent, not her best friend. Whenever I come home, there she is right after school until dark with her boyfriend until he wanders home when her parents get home. She's with her boyfriend all day long at school and after school, and I NEVER GO OUT!!! I know the movies is a far cry from this for you daughter, but still, you're right, it's too young.
I'm afraid I don't see what the issue is with four 13 year-olds going to a movie together. I had a full time babysitting job 5 days a week, and he bussed tables, so weekends are when we got to see each other. Once we were freshmen in high school, we did get dropped off at the movies. Sure she'll still think about him and communicate (I'm not looking forward to having a texting 13 year old, but it may happen if texting is still the thing in 9 years...), but the dates are a slippery slope.
My son had a girlfriend by the time he was 13, my daughter was 14. I've already watched her flirt (quite skillfully) with boys her age, so I'm expecting this to happen early with her, too. I could go out on group dates at 14 and alone at 15.5. I never had to worry about coming home and facing the infamous "Ummm, guess what? I didn't even try to pull that with my parents until junior or senior year, and even then it was just going out with a "group" and hanging with a favorite guy in the mix without telling them because I wasn't really allowed to date.
With that said, my childhood was a lot different, I was allowed to date and have boys over for a movie and go to movies, let me tell you, I got myself into a lot of trouble having a little freedom to date.
I am not saying your daughter is at all like me, I just wanted you to know where the little bit of dating freedom got me in 7th grade.